A Response To:

I got kicked out of a fundamentalist Christian University for committing a thought crime… 😑

After 2 years of enrollment at a very conservative Christian university, I was expelled 24 months ago. Well, I wasn’t expelled. I “voluntarily withdrew”. I was told to withdraw or be expelled. I was kicked out. It hurt.

What did I do that deserved this treatment? Good question.

I did the following:

  • Maintained a 4.0 GPA, even while taking 18 credits and participating in a volunteer robotics team as the lead student CAD operator.
  • Developed meaningful relationships with my teachers (Bible, science, math, etc.).
  • Engaged in, and enjoyed, voluntary philosophical and apologetic discussions with Pastors and Doctors of Theology in my free time.
  • Passed Differential Equations (my highest level required math course) with 100% of the points in the class.
  • Meticulously kept the rules of the institution, even when they seemed unnecessary or over-the-top.
  • Stopped believing in God.

I stopped believing. I didn’t stop acting like I believed. I didn’t stop caring about discovering truth. I didn’t start breaking the rules of the institution. I didn’t start trying to de-convert other Christian students at the institution. I didn’t even share my lack of belief with any fellow students. I didn’t insist that I knew that there was no God, because I frankly don’t know that. I just realized that I couldn’t justify my belief, so I shouldn’t say that I believe. That’s it.

After two years of struggling with doubts, I realized that I shouldn’t say that I believe if I can’t justify my belief. At the time, I was enrolled in a Junior-level Bible class. This class required an apologetics project which would require me to essentially defend conservative, fundamentalist Christianity against skepticism (either from unbelievers or other religions). In an effort to be honest and open, I communicated my doubts to the teacher and suggested an alternative assignment. I offered to do the original assignment additionally, though, because I knew that completing an entirely different assignment from the other students could be unfair to them.

Two weeks after I emailed my teacher, I was told to leave or be expelled. No two ways about it. Fun.

The institution was not interested in why I had changed my mind. I was kicked out because I disagreed, not because I had bad reasons for disagreeing. I was expelled from an accredited University for a thought crime. Let me repeat that. I was expelled from a regionally and nationally accredited University for a thought crime.

I was mad. I lost about $40,000 worth of scholarships. I could’ve gone to a different university and gotten a full-ride scholarship (most likely. I had an ACT score of 34 and a 4.0 GPA). This withdrawal added a blemish to my otherwise perfect academic record and forced me to spend an extra $4000 of my own money and 6 extra months of time to finish my degree.

It’s been two years. I’d like to say I’m over it. I’d like to say I’ve moved on, but I can’t honestly say that. I still occasionally see the faces and hear the voices of the people who I once would’ve called my friends… the same people who told me I wasn’t good enough and kicked me out.

If you’re a Christian reading this, I’m not asking you to change your mind about what you believe about God and the Bible. I only want you to be intentionally thoughtful about how you treat people who honestly disagree with you. I’m certain that many of you already are, but the few that aren’t considerate leave very long-lasting bad impressions.

I went to church this last weekend with my brother who remains a devout Christian (because I was spending the weekend with him), and one of the church members who I’ve known all my life started up a conversation.

Somehow, he started discussing people who are “geniuses” but also “idiots”. You’ll never guess what he meant by this… these highly educated, highly skilled people are “idiots” because they “don’t believe in God”. He had no idea he was talking to an “idiot”, and I didn’t tell him. I have no desire to ruin longstanding relationships further than I already have.

The truth doesn’t care about my feelings — or your feelings, for that matter. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about each other’s feelings, though. If I treat Christians as somehow inferior or stupid because I disagree with them, then I’ve done everyone a disservice. They aren’t stupid. I’m not stupid. We just disagree.

Let’s learn to do so civilly.

If you got this far, thank you for reading my rant. 🙂

“But of all the human emotions, curiosity is the least subject to the general proscription against gluttony, and once engaged, even if engaged initially in the service of religion, it has a tendency to grow relentlessly, until in the end the scholar becomes curious about the nature of revelation itself. The more encompassing the scope of scholarship, the more open to doubt the scholar becomes, so that in the end only curiosity remains indisputably of value. This is true whether the object of curiosity is religion or science.”

David Berlinski, The Devil’s Delusion

This is why I can’t respect people’s religion and this is why people don’t share their beliefs in the same way people don’t share their sexuality.

This is cult shit, if you don’t believe in God, I’ll take everything from you, this happens alot because you gotta share in people’s delusions to not make people realize how ridiculous their beliefs are.

I’ll stand by religion being worse than drugs because at least drugs can be used for medicinal reasons in medical procedures and recreational pleasure. But the worse drug addiction is nothing compared to a religious cult who will make you defend a pedophile,rapist, serial killer all because they a messenger from god or somehow god.

Mass delusions are a huge reason why African people are both the most religious and most powerless.